Promises:  we make promises everyday several times a day, and we break most of them without even thinking about it.  Well, really think about what promises you make and keep them.  Life has all these curves it throws at us but some or maybe even most if we are completely honest with ourselves can be avoided. Now those become excuses.  I do not want to make excuses anymore, trust me I know that I have made an over abundance of them.  So I am making the biggest promise of all and that is to GOD that I will do my best to change these habits that are not of him.  He keeps all his promises and that I am grateful for.  We talked about this at church yesterday and it inspired me to write about cause I know and do this and really want to change the bad habits and make them good habits. So I promise to change.  I have changed in so many ways I don't even know that girl anymore.  Well, I do know her I just don't want to be her.  I don't want to forget her because that is what inspires me.  The old me to become the better new me....This of course is due to the one and only GOD.  I get so excited to see what is in-store for me,  that is a miracle in itself.  I really like to run into people I haven't seen for a long time cause they just stare at the amazement of all the changes that I have made.  I am not proud of some of the things I've done but I do know this.  I am not perfect and neither is anyone else, this I'm learning also.  So work on yourself and you can change those around you.  This works.  So here I go another wonderful day with our lord.  Please guide me to whatever and whom ever you have for my learning not just theirs.  I love you Lord.  Amen.

So it is Sunday, my favorite day of the week.  Weird that I say that cause it used to be Friday.  I thought I had big plans every week, but guess what those plans for me have changed and I am so thankful for that.  I lived in a fog of fake believe.  Now I live in this place full of Love and Peace.  Through this journey with God I have met some extraordinary people that I call family now.  People I would have smiled at before but not have done anything about it.  I now give them hugs and workout with them and go to church with them.  I truly care about them inside.  This has helped me heal inside and to become a better person.  We all need this.  I want to reach out and touch people who need my touch and I do this through our Lord.  I know what some people say and think about me and that's okay because they are not where I am and I hope that one day they too can experience the Love of our Lord.  I will pray for them and hope that they ask him in.  Believe me that's all it takes....Today is about worship, family and friends.  Cherish these moments because these are the ones that take our breath away, the memories that we and our kids and family remember.  Laugh with these people, share your thoughts, your dreams, your hopes and most important your LOVE.  I promise when you give Love it gives back.  I have had this fear of letting go for a long time now. I have loved but I held back with the fear of letting people in.  Guess what not afraid anymore because if I do get hurt then I know this pain will go away I have God on my side and sometimes we have to suffer a little pain to learn and this is okay.  I never thought I would say that but I believe God takes something bad and turns it into something really good.  So when you are feeling sad, lonely, and hopeless remember he is here trying to show you the path to great things, just follow him.  I will follow him with all my Love for he is my LOVE.... remember to thank him for all the blessings he continues to give us. I thank you Lord for your Great Love and all the blessings you have and continue to give me.  I am truly blessed by our Lord.. Amen

So I was awaken once again at 2:45 seems to be a pattern.  I was thinking about this blog and that I didn't write yesterday because I was waiting for something that was great and exciting to inspire me when I realized that there is so many things that I could tell you about.  First off I want to thank God for this second chance at living his way.  Really thank him is what I want to do.  So I say to him guide me to help me to share this with people out there. Guide me to show me who I can help through out my days and to stay in his word.  I know that he has his plan and that everything and everyone happens for a reason.  now what that reason is we don't really know at the time but he will reveal it to us on his time.  I went and saw the movie The lucky one with Bri and Jeanne and the whole time during the movie thinking wow I want someone to look at me that way.  we can all have that  if we don't settle, it is out there but not in our time in his.  In his perfect plan to show us the perfect one.  I told someone one day that I will not settle this time and I intend to keep this promise.  I want someone to look at me and know what they want not to have to think about it.  I want to feel like this is right, right now, and right for the rest of my life.  wow it is amazing the inspiration that he gives me at 3 in the morning.  I told my daughter yesterday the old me would have already had a couple of guys just because hanging around when I need them.  Now who is that fair too.  Not them and not me and not my children.  I realized I would rally be alone, then to have the maybe I can make this possible kinda man.  I want to share everything with this person and cant wait, maybe that is why we try and rush this with the wrong people sometimes cause we do want this so bad.  So if you are out there and thinking what do I want really want, and your sorta with someone, think about  this does this person make you say WOW,  now you got your answer.  THANK YOU GOD I just got mine.  Now I will go through out my day and show people what God has asked of me and that WOW someone will come my way without me even thinking about it.  This is not my plan but his.  Thank you Lord for all these blessings I cant ever repay you but I am going to try.  I Love the lord so very much.

Today, I want to write about the power our children give us.  When you have kids you have never failing love.  they will always love you weather they show it or not.  They are our inspiration to be a better person or they should be.  I know that I haven't always been the best parent but one of the main reasons that I have changed is my children,  God is first then they are second.  I look at each one of them, I have three and thank God that he has given me these gifts.  Now when you are given a gift you are suppose to treasure this gift.  this means protect, teach and be the best you can be.  Does this mean you are perfect well heck no, no one is and we all make mistakes as a parent.  But make memories in there lives, ones that they will share with there children.  Make traditions and try to keep them.  I know that through the years the ones that I have had, I let someone change.  No more I get to keep them too. That my friend I win back. Start new ones with them and let them pick them.  Just give them the love and understanding they need to be able to form their own lives with a good foundation and know that when they fall they have not only God to fall back and lead them, but you are always there.  Just Love them like you have never loved anything else, spend time with them and share your life with them.  This will make them great parents one day.  

"Love Conquers all"  corinthians 1:13

Today was a full day.  Up part of the night with my oldest daughter as she gets migraines and I got up with her and rubbed her back and neck to help relieve some of that stress for her, miss my little one.  Then went to support my brother this morning.  Then went and worked out with a friend from church and then the food bank. Pretty full day.  Now just reading the bible and was thinking about what our pastor said on Sunday "Caring like a called person" and thinking about how I myself handle situations and how I can handle them better and who I can help.  I have my ideas but cant give all my secrets away but I will surely keep you posted after the fact.  I have so much right now that I feel God is calling on me for and feel real lucky that its me he asked.  I will try my best to do as he asks and to do his work.  I will try and fight the good fight and leave the past right where it belongs.  With God on my side I can achieve anything.  I know I have to remember to love the enemy as fight him with love.  So remember when someone is mean to you do something very very nice for them.  Trust me it will change their heart.  this my friends makes us winners.  By loving all and doing all in love we achieve one thing LOVE for all.  now that inspires me.... who doesn't love, love.... So I LOVE you all.  GOD BLESS

Woke up this morning a little sad, it is really hard sharing my youngest daughter.  Her dad and I are not together and I am not used to not having her with me everyday and every night.  I know I will get used to it just don't like the initial drop off.  Makes me cry.  I went and worked out thank goodness feel better now, cleaned house which I remembered how my best thinking is while I clean.  unfortunately I moved to a small apartment and it doesn't take me long to clean.  but I did figure some things out that I have been wanting to happen on my time once again.  Hello you would think I would wake up soon.  I am sure God is looking down saying when are you going to get this girl.  Anyway, I know in my heart that I need to wait for something and I will,  I know its right but not the right timing.  so waiting is what I will do.  as you know I'm not good at that.  I know God has great things planned for me and I am trying my best to do them in his order not mine.  I just get excited.  Have a blessed day.

My message today is "The holy spirit is the one gift God gives to the people that believe." Okay I believe that with everything I have.  I have and do feel the Holy Spirit and it is amazing. I don't ever want that to go away.  So I do believe.  This gift all people could have they just need to believe in him.  Once this happens you would never want to go back.  This week has been a week of miracles for myself and my dear friend.  We have been busy doing what God has asked us to do.  I tell you it is a full schedule however it is extremely fulfilling.  I have met some new people along the way and this is what he wants us to do.  Encourage, inspire and give people HOPE.  I know that when we help someone that in turn helps us.  I feel that it helps me heal more and more each day.  the pieces are coming together and one day we will have them all together to share what was meant to be our family together finally, and we together will share our stories and laugh how we got there.  Its funny some of the things Lisa and I do now.  I laughed so hard yesterday I feel like I don't need to work my stomach muscles now that is a great feeling.  I would share with you the funnys but it wouldn't be funny to you all.    Some days are harder then others but at the end of the day one goal  and One amazing GOD our God.  give him praise and love and he will return more then your heart desires.  He is just waiting for you to ask him.  So I ask God will you show me the way, guide me to the things that you would like me to do today as I want to follow you and only you and your path.  So I am running your direction.  I am so excited for this it is hard to slow down but I know that we have to be patient and let him do this for us not us trying to do it for him.  He will guide you and show you.  God bless you all....

‎"The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement. Yet, almost no one gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential. If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone would blossom and the world would produce abundance beyond the wildest dreams. We would have more than one Einstein, Edison, Schweitzer, Mother Theresa, Dr. Salk and other great minds in a century." ~

So I read this off my aunts facebook today and thought well this what I would like to talk about because it is sorta how I have been feeling the last couple of days.  Everyone needs encouragement weather you think that they do are not.  Some people may appear to be really strong like they can take the world on their shoulders and they probably try to, but those are the people who need it most.  well maybe not, now I think that there isn't one group per-say who need it more than the other we all need it.  So go about your day ENCOURAGE everyone you encounter.  tell them they are great and they do a wonderful job no matter how big or small it may be.  Say this as if God was saying it to you.  Trust me you will change someones spirit.  This my friend helps change the world, one smile, one encouragement, one nice jester, just one thing God would do.  It works.  I know it worked on me... Just once is all it took.  Now its my turn..... God bless each and everyone of you weather you are reading this blog or not.  Have a wonderful day... 

I awoke today with a message to help a friends mother.  well that is what I will do.  Its funny cause I went to be feeling a little sorry for myself and when I woke up said all that is gone and I am going to tunnel that self pity to someone Else's needs.  I also know that things will work out maybe not how I planned them but better.  I cant allow myself to keep up that yo yo thing that I have allowed my entire life. cause  I have bigger and better things to do then to feel sorry for the things that don't work out for me.  God has this plan and  I know I can make it easy by following it or I can make it hard by paving my own.  It sorta weird cause this way of thinking took away what I thought would be hard to give up,and gave me the strength  to do this other thing with vengeance.  For those of you that don't know I have been laid off for about a year now and its weird cause I have never had a hard time finding a job.  I helped out last night at the food bank with our church New Hope and I was talking to this gentleman and told him that I wasn't really upset about not fin10ding a job cause I am extremely busy right now.  God has me working for him, not that I am giving up on a job cause I look and apply a lot but until then I will keep pushing on doing things to help others get closer to the lord.  That is my job... what a great job it is... This is worth way more then money...So when you go about your day remember to help others, just the act of kindness shows them the light.  God bless I have been putting off things for myself like working out.  well the other goal I have is to try and workout every morning after the kids go to school.  I need to loose 10lbs and most important firm up.  I always feel great when I work out, plus I meet new friends there.  so if you want to work out give me a call.... So all I have to say is bring on my day cause I am ready.. God Bless all of you.

Okay I woke up this morning with a different kind of Hope, the hope that I thought I lost or had to give up.  Sometimes we are asked to give up things that are not right for us at the time we want them.  Isn't it funny though if you look at the big picture how things will work out.  I know and have known that it would it was just timing and not mine. If you all read this you probably already figured out I sorta like my timing not Gods.  I'm working on that, its not easy.  I had a great conversation last night with an old friend till like 1 30 in the morning,  explaining who I am not and pretty much probably shocked this person.  But I know they could see the passion I have for the Lord and trust in him.  So when he asks me to do something and he has. I don't always like it but I will do it cause I trust in him and have the faith.  I love him so very much he gives me the strength I need to go about my day.  I know someone sometimes gets hurt but you not only free yourself but you free them to the life that God has planned for them.  I am so excited for the plans he has for me and my family, and by family I mean the one he is giving me.  I couldn't ask for anything better cause he picked it not me this time.. Wow I think I am getting it.... Thanks God for saving me I do love you more than anything.

So I awoke with the lyrics to a song in my head, the song is "God has his hands on you".  I have had this song stuck in my head for awhile now and woke up to the words playing in my head again, this is a message from God.  He truly holds me when I cry and sees me through.  With all the faith I have now why didn't I see it.  I guess we don't have all the answers but as we go through the hard times "Just know he has his hands on you".  I didn't realize how much the lyrics of his song meant to me, he had to show me that...I was screaming out "will there be change"  Oh boy will there.  He has such big plans for me and I want to run in his path not walk.  So when I tell you to be strong he is with you, I'm not lying he is he was with me the whole time holding my hand and I finally felt it... I didn't want him to let go.  what an amazing feeling knowing his hand was in mine.  His hand was really in mine... So remember he does have his hand on you and he will see you through, just lift your hands up high for he will provide.  I'm telling you this is true he will provide.  I am inspired by this song so I want you all to go find the song and really listen to the words.   It is all true.... know this I have Hope and I Believe because I have Faith.  You can have all this just cry out to him and hold your hands up high.  I have never wanted anything more then I want this... He knows it, so I hold my own hands up HIGH.  I wouldn't steer you the wrong way I promise this is the way..... can you imagine what a great world this will be if we all just held our own hands up high. Close your eyes and hold your hands up high you will be able to picture it, if you Believe...

Today was a great day, My friend Lisa and her daughter were baptized.  What a special thing for them to do together.  I think that all of us go through this period of not following our path that God has planned for us.  we all struggle with one thing or another.  I think God will help you with the struggle and take it from you but you have to prove to him that you can do it.  Then and only then have you earned it.  We had church again tonight and wow I figured out a lot at the second service.  I had to let something go to be free and I did I gave it to God.  This allows you to move on to the plans he has for us.  It really does feel like a weight lifted off of us.  This is very in-powering.  I came home after first church and laid down and actually fell asleep.  I don't do that so I really must have needed it.  Then went to Encore at 6 this evening.  I don't know if any of you have felt the holy spirit but it truly is an amazing thing.  It takes over your whole body and feels you with peace, I don't ever want that to go away.  I know my faith is strong and continues to get stronger everyday.  I meet more and more people that I know will be a part of my life forever.  what a great thing.  well I better get some beauty sleep have a lunch date tomorrow or should I say today.  Looking forward to it, been a long time since I have seen my friend David then I am helping some friends from church move.  so bring on the rock star tomorrow.  God Bless and keep Hope alive with Faith.....

I usually write my blog at night but I have been talking to my friend Lisa this morning a lot and we really figure things out when we are together.  we started talking about fate and weather or not this is Gods plan for us and some people figure it out and some don't.  I don't want to be one of those people who don't figure it out or settle for the life that wasn't meant for me.  I guess in that way you can say I am determined to figure out the plan.  Finally... I tell myself with a smile....So what do you think, as we go through our life's and make our mistakes that we do meet that one person once or know them but we are not ready for them.  Then when we are truly ready God puts them back in our life.  Not sure still trying to figure that one out.  But what I do know is that they are out there and we will find them with the help of only one God, our God.  The other thing we were talking about is that since we make mistakes and do wrong, does God take something bad and turn it into good.  If this is the case then wake up people and do right because it is not as scary as you think.  No matter what, it is a win win situation.  Its all good because of God.  I know in my heart that there is Hope out there for each and everyone of us.  Is it an easy journey, no not at first but it does get easier as we figure out his plan for us.  which means that we are walking in his word.  He wants to bless you, he gets just as excited to do this as much as we get excited to seek his approval.  Remember when you go throughout your day that everyone and everything is not by chance it is for purpose.  So cherish the moments that we have with people that we know and people that we meet.  Be kind, and smile at a stranger you never know who and what the persons purpose is in your life but it does mean a great deal.  Thank God for our little miracles.

So Friday the 13th what fun was that... so many funny things happened and what do you do just laugh them off.  Bri and I were trying to fix her closet and it was quite funny, Then Emma was trying to put together a book shelve for me cause I sorta gave up, mind you she is 8.  pretty funny.  I got reminded twice today not to be such a heel.  I got short with the lady at Chinese food place when placing an order and when I got there she was trying to explain to me that the number 8 and letter A sound alike and that she was having a hard time understanding me cause she speaks a different language.  BOY I felt pretty small at this point.  Then I got short with my oldest daughter and realized this is not who I am trying to be so fight it, fight this before you speak.  I will keep praying that God takes this away from me and I know he will he just wants to see that I am trying.  He will bless me with this if I ask him for that.  I am truly grateful for all the blessing that God gives me daily basis and continues to give me.  He is working wonders in my life and I am so blessed to have him in it.  thank you God

I was struggling on what to write today when it came to me to write about what inspired me to name this blog HOPE.  For such a small word it sure has a huge meaning and direction in my life and hopefully the lifes of others also.  Without hope what do we have, sadness, sorrow and pain.   I was there and God gave me hope and brought me out of the darkness and towards the light.  I realized that this is not what I ever want me kids to see or know.  I want them to always know Hope.  I have been struggling the last couple of days with some personal anger issues and I know that I need to let go, let God take this from me and hope that tomorrow I don't feel this way.  There are so many people out there feeling what I am with no Hope and this makes me very sad.  It makes me sad cause there is always Hope if you just let him guide you and lead you to it.  I know I will get through this as I have God on my side and I am not about to let that go not for one second, so if evil thinks it is going to win go play your fiddle some where else.  So I have been talking to an old friend and I have to say he cheered me up tonight and made me laugh.  It is really nice getting reconnected to people and meeting new friends also.  This journey has allowed me to do that and Hope for the unbelievable dreams.  I want to reach to the skies and say take me all of me, I'm yours... I could never praise him enough for the things he has given me and continues to bless me and make me a better person.  I see so much sorrow and there doesn't have to be just let him take that from you.  You would never believe just how unbelievable he makes us feel.  So I want to say I HOPE you all have blessed days ahead.  So if you want use my word HOPE and I promise amazing things happen...

So I have to share my day today, quite the day.  I have been put through the tests today.  Anger, Jealousy, Pride, and self pity.  I know that these things for some reason make me stronger because with my faith and my support I can demand all that to leave my life.  I want to thank my dear friend Lisa as today was a hard one and you were right there to pull me back on my path. My daughter Bri also as she helps keep my spirits up.  I started to remember the sorrow and the pain the I felt when I first started this journey and how hard it was to stay in the word of god.  I know now I don't want anything other than that.  I was inspired today also by a book that my mom bought me  long time ago that I never read.  It is a very small book called Everyday Angels.  I have always had it out on a shelve cause I like the little size and the cover but to be honest never really read it.  I read it today and it talked about the everyday angels and how to be one and how to recognize one.  It made me remember that when I asked God into my life what I really wanted people to see and feel about me.  I want people to look at me and see an Angel.  I want to be there when you don't need me and when you do.  I want to help when in need and no one know it is me.  I want people to look across the room and say WOW shes good... Its almost like they can see your wings hiding behind you and you are right there ready to spread them ready to fly towards your next adventure.  I know with Gods loving support and guidance that my wings will spread a lot.  I know that everyday cant be sunny even when it rains but it can shine through the rain.  I don't know if that makes since to everyone but I know that when I am down that he will pull me up and have the support group spread their wings toward me just as he did today. I am so grateful for this and could never show him the appreciation that he deserves.  But I do thank you Lord and love you so very much.... I made it through this day and cant wait till tomorrow.

So today was a great day, I learned a lot.  We think sometimes that we know what the plan is and we really want it.  We bargain with our feelings saying well he said this isn't right for me right now so if I do this then maybe, at that time it becomes right.  NO that is not how it works, he tells us that its not right for us, not to hurt us or not to give us what we want, but because he has better plans for us.  So you would think that I would know better, well I tried to bargain.  ooooppps  I will not do that again.  well I might but I will think about it a little longer next time.  So my Son Clifford for those of you that don't know, he is a TBI, traumatic brain injury.  He was involved in a bad car accident approx 4 years ago.  He has been a huge part of my journey and I would like to say thank you for helping save your momma.  He struggles daily with things that we take advantage of on a daily basis.  Through his disability, he has helped heal me and other people. What a great kid.  well young man I should say as he is 22 now.  He has such passion for the Lord and I love to watch him and see his reaction to loving our God, he inspires me so much he makes me want to be a better person, mother, and friend.  So I said my goal was to try and touch just one person as I share my story and now I take that back.  I going bigger much bigger and I want to touch each person I meet through out my day.  I want to make people smile and say look at her she must be in gods word.  My goal is to show people he is out there and he will help you if you ask him.  He will cause he helped me.  Our god is the most amazing God he has already brought me closer to people I didn't know and people I haven't seen in years.  How fun and exciting is that, I cant wait to see what else he has in store for me... I'm ready dear Lord take my hand and lead me your way,  like the song says "Jesus take the wheel"  I'm ready ready ready to run....Off to bed with my dreams that I will share with you all tomorrow.  Remember that all you have to do is ASK... and you shall receive him.  why wouldn't you want to...

This is my first blog... I was blessed to have been able to ask the lord into my life and for him to be with me everyday as I walk down his path.  I know this path is not always straight because I make it curvy, I also know that he will help sI traighten that out for me as I go about my days.  My life was a dark hallway and I was just screaming to get out.  He saved me and I want to share that with people.  I hope that my story helps at least one person closer to the lord.  I watched a movie the other night called "pay it forward""  what a great concept this little boy came up with.  Have 3 people do something life altering as you share this each of those people share with 3 more and so on.  Can you imagine what this would do for our world.  The love of our lord is so strong that it is just waiting to pour out.  All you have to do is ask.  I have to be completely honest with people I thought I believe in God.  Did I really, N'ay, no I did everything he wouldn't want his children to do.  So when I started down this path I also said I will be a good christian but I am not going to be one of those people that is like a bible thump-er so they and I called them.  Well guess what, when you walk with him you are a bible thump-er and proud of it.  I know that I can do anything with his help.  I put so many things off in my life thinking that is not possible but guess what it is when you have him.  I have longed for something and now I know what and who I longed for our Father.  He wants to bless us and he has great plans for each and everyone of us, we just need to be obedient.  I used to have so many worries now I give them to him.  I do not want to settle for the life I think is right for me I want to take the challenge for the life he has planned for me... THE GREAT ONE.  I have made some pretty altering changes in my life lately and I know it is the path he is leading me too.  Does this cause some pain, well of course because we chose the wrong way to begin with.  But after that pain is gone hopefully you grow and so do the people around you.  The saying Life, Love and Laugh, you sure do look at that saying a lot different.  Infact you look at everything different, in a good way.  So this is the short version of the life changes I am making.  I will share my experiences with you everyday and would like to hear what other people have to say or suggest.  I  also would like to hear if your life is changing towards GOD and his way.