So I have to say to everyone SORRY, my goal was to write on this page everyday.  However; I got a little distracted by my own self pity.  I wanted to write about wonderful things that my life was changing and how God has done great things.  I forgot to put down the struggles of how hard this can be some days.  My  life has changed completely and fast, some days it is a bit overwhelming.  I used to drink and drink alot. I didn't realize how much until I really thought about it.  I numbed the pain of life the life that I was living and the life I choose not the life God choose for me.  I did a lot of things that I am not proud of, but I know that God as forgiven me because I asked for his forgiveness.  I work daily at this process and as the pastor said this is a process.  A process to follow God and each day gets better with struggles along the way.  We can always remember that God is here and he is with us. I know that sometimes I feel alone and out of control but this is what our knees are for.  Ask God for help not this world and the things in this world.  I think that some days I get to excited to get there to fast and don't remember the process, its like reading a book the beginning is so good we forget to read the middle and we go straight to the end to find out what happened.  we loose something doing this, we loose all the important stuff by doing that.  The middle is where all the answers lye.  I am so grateful for this life that God has blessed me with.  I have new and old friends that are always in my heart.  I am learning forgiveness and trust and for me this is BIG.  I don't want to Judge any ones actions as my own actions are questionable.  In this process of life changing I am learning this, this is what is in the middle so people please read the middle it is so important and you don't want to miss out on what God has for us in the great book of our life's with the Lord, I know I don't.  I will work harder on my goal to write on this page more often.  Thank you to everyone that is out there reading and helping me through this.  God Bless each and everyone of you....